Welcome.

Step into the ring with jazz hands on a custodian. My results should not be confused with solutions. My route is full of ambition and hope. Action comes together like a final baked loaf crisp and hard on the outside while soft and chewy within.

You model awkward glances as I coax somewhere between teacher and comforting supporter. Together, we glide through the room like speed-dating and musical chairs wrapped into one.  You’re unsure of the momentariness of it all and I wish I could give you more but first I must connect purpose and practice to desire. I’ve made a trail for us. It’s new and unused. We may still need clearing devices and tools to navigate.

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1 People disengage or leave. Bankruptcy, breakdown, collapse. Alternatively, social construction and co-creation.

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This is not the first time you’ve been asked to do this. We’ve been fermenting together and separately in a cool, dark place. Just the right bubbles have formed and we smell of sweetened sour. As custodian, I conduct energy, glances, expressions and words. I describe and coalesce with nervous anxiety, maybe fear, in hopes you follow me on this trail. Sometimes you’re a rock that I push up the steep sides and other times a kite that I help buoy through the air when we hit clearings.

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2 No one understands the exercises. Or, we become emergent bodies of strategy.

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I feel failure at my fingertips and the edges of my hair when I push. Are you judging me? Do you doubt where I’m attempting to take you? I am, but I can’t show you that because you’ve laid trust in me trust that I must constantly work for every second we’re together and sew into every seam and blade of grass of the process. We both lay down our swords of doubt for a brief moment and journey together like the dough waiting to become bread sitting in it’s bowl.

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3 Inability to manage conflict. Having all the answers or being an expert. Decline, defeat, deficiency, deterioration, loss. Or, seeing the system, patterns and leverage points.

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We’re stepping on each others toes mixing the leading and following of the dance sequence. It’s turned clunky and our rhythm is all wrong. But I’m not actually afraid to mess up in front of you or change our dance though my anxiety remains at a slow boil. I never let on only showing ease and normalcy in the moments of muddling. I don’t believe that just because I’m in front of you, I can’t make mistakes.

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4 What is success being based on? Favorable outcome, sensation, benefit, progress, realization.

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Everything I created for this day is contingent on all of you who are wild and unknown. Unpredictable land lays between us. I’m only okay with it, because I have to be. I know that these are the ingredients that make co-creation and emergent ideas. We’ve fermented together, risen together and coalesce into a whole new way.

I want epiphanies and the creation of new ways of being to happen amongst us. I dream big each time and happily settle for any incrementalism in that direction.

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